Lebanon decries Israel’s theft of goats

Posted: May 9, 2010 by Jonathan Boyko in IDF, Israel, Lebanon, Middle East
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Tough Lebanese soldiers. No goats for you! In what seems like the most ridiculous story of the year, Lebanese officials blamed the IDF for stealing 185 goats from its territory. Officials said IDF troops entered Lebanese territory and stole the goats. Talk about manufacturing an excuse for war:

Lebanon has filed a complaint with the UN Security Council claiming that Israeli soldiers entered its territory in the area of the Shebaa Farms and confiscated 185 goats, the Lebanese Daily Mail reported Saturday.

According to reports in the Lebanese press, UN soldiers appealed to Israel and the goats were returned. Israel has not officially responded to the claims, which were made a few days ago.

(Ynet)

THE EVIL ZIONISTS are at it again, first stealing Palestinian land and then Lebanese goats. While I could make quite a few sarcastic comments on the issue, I will allow Ynet commenters do the job for me:

And there are 185 lonely men in Lebanon

— The Dude

In the meanwhile, the Lebanese are themselves stand accused of violating the border, with IDF claiming an MP and protesters entered Israeli territory, uprooted a security fence and planted Lebanese flags beyond UN-designated border:

Lebanese Development and Liberation bloc MP Qassem Hashem met with Foreign Minister Ali Shami in order to discuss the former’s response to an Israeli complaint, handed to the UN on April 21.

The response rejects Israel’s allegations that Hashem led a protest against the IDF in which fences in the area of the border were uprooted and flags planted in their place.

That is not all, however, as Lebanon’s President Michel Suleiman stated today his government will not demand Hezbollah to disarm itself in order to stabilize the situation on the border:

A U.N. deal to end the 2006 war between Israel and the Shiite militants required Hezbollah to disarm, but Lebanon’s politicians have been unable to agree on a national defense strategy that would integrate the group’s weapons into the regular armed forces.

President Michel Suleiman said Saturday that Lebanon "cannot and must not" tell Hezbollah to disarm before reaching a deal on a defense strategy that would also address any future Israeli attacks.

(Washington Post)

Lebanon's birthrate could be significantly hurt due to IDF stealing its main object of reproduction Suleiman understands full-well what the repercussions of Hezbollah’s disarmament would mean – more goats would be stolen from Lebanon, leaving Lebanese men with no means of reproduction.

Don’t believe me? Read this from Russia’s Pravda:

In Lebanon having half of population Christians, men are officially allowed to have sex with animals. Yet, an important restriction is applied: the animal must be female. For sex with male animals death penalty can be imposed.

(Pravda)

In Sudan, for example, they take the matter very seriously:

A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.

The goat’s owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.

They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.

"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.

(BBC)

Ah, the joys of Arab rule…

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Comments
  1. Haha, God, I never saw it coming…

  2. ivarfjeld says:

    This story is really sweet. I makes both the Lebanese farmers and the IDF soldiers humans. Think if this became an issues during the so-called «peace negotiations»? We will give you back Gilad Shalit, if you return our goats…..

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